Monthly Archives: January 2012

A Day in the Life of a Deviant Married Lesbian Mommy

As seen this week on TheNextFamily.com (1/25/12):

So in watching all of the craptastic Republican jargon being thrown around over the past many weeks and months, I thought that perhaps I should take a good, hard look at this life that I’m leading and the family of which I am part.  Some of the candidates have declared that they wanted for marriage to be just like it is in the Constitution – I swear to God they’ve said it!  To this I constantly will yell at the TV or internet, “I’ve read the original Constitution several times and it says NOT ONE WORD about marriage in it!!!!”  Others have talked about homosexuals being deviants, unnatural, something that makes God “sad.”  Oh no.  I had no idea.  Again I decided that I might ought to take a look at my apparently deviant life.  So here it is.  A day in the life of a deviant married lesbian mommy.

7:15 AM – Alarm goes off; snooze gets hit.

7:25 AM – Alarm goes off again.  Snooze may very well get hit again.

7:35 AM – Alarm goes off again.  OK I’m up; gotta get Noah up for school.  Praying that baby girl Harrison stays asleep long enough for me to get him out the door.

7:45 AM – Make sure that Noah gets breakfast, gets dressed in matching clothes, homework in backpack, and teeth brushed.

8:15 AM – Noah out the door to awaiting ride.  I make a bottle for Harrison and wait for her to wake up, if she hasn’t already.

8:30 to 9:00 AM – Change Harrison’s diaper.  Feed Harrison.  Burp Harrison.  Get puked on by Harrison.

10:00 AM – Put Harrison down for morning nap.  Maybe I will lie down and nap with her, too.  Maybe I will have some coffee.  Maybe I will throw some laundry in.  I might even shower.

11:30 AM – Harrison usually wakes up.  Changer her diaper again and give her meds.  We play for a bit.  If we have somewhere to go, she will go in her bouncer in the bathroom while I shower.  If staying in, we move to the den where she might play in her bouncer or swing.

12:00 to 12:30 PM – Feed Harrison.  Burp Harrison.  Get puked on by Harrison.  Play with Harrison a bit more, and hope that she gets tired so that I can maybe eat some lunch.

2:00 to 4:00 PM – Hope that somewhere during this two-hour timeframe that Harrison will take a nap.  During this time I might clean one day, do laundry another day, edit photos another day.

4:00 PM – Noah gets out of school; goes to the band hall to practice his instrument for thirty minutes.  Some days I will take Harrison in the stroller to the walking track and we will walk a few miles – she usually naps during this venture out.


4:30 PM – Pickup Noah and Dee from school if it is rainy or too cold; otherwise they will walk home.

4:45 PM – Noah and Dee home from school; gotta find them a snack and get them at the dining room table doing homework.  Now I need to figure out what we’re going to have for dinner.

5:30 PM – Start dinner.  Have Noah unload the dishwasher and sometimes take out the trash and recycling.  Erikka usually comes home from work around this time, where she takes over with Harrison (with a bottle by now) so I can finish making dinner.

6:30 PM – Michelle picks up Dee for the evening.  We have dinner…hopefully.  Harrison will usually swing while we eat.  Sometimes, on rare occasions now, we might go out to eat for dinner.  I know, settle down – it’s a thrill a minute around here!

7:00 to 8:00 PM – Family time, usually hanging out in the den.  Harrison might nap and also get her evening meds.  We might catch up on some DVR’d programs.  Noah sometimes hangs out and watches TV with us, or plays in his room.

8:00 PM – Noah in the shower.

8:30 PM – Make sure that Noah does his reading, at least thirty minutes.  Harrison will probably have another bottle between now and 9:30 PM.


9:00 PM – Noah in bed with teeth brushed and headgear on.

10:00 to 10:30 PM – Bath time for Harrison.  Both mommies participate in this – she’s a slippery little booger.

After bath, Erikka takes her into the nursery to dry her, lotion her up, put her in jimmies, and play with her on her floor mat – tummy time!

10:30 to 11:00 PM – I assume my position in the nursery recliner/rocker, and proceed to rock baby girl to sleep for the night.

11:30 PM – I usually hope to get into bed by now.  Erikka is already there, and often already asleep.  I might watch TV for thirty minutes or so.

12:00 AM – Usually lights out and TV off.  Only a few more hours before the alarm goes off and we do it all over again.

So there it is.  I know it’s crazy and offensive to a LOT of conservative Americans.  I know that my family doesn’t deserve to have the same rights and privileges as all of our hetero counterparts…I understand.  When you live such an outlandish lifestyle like we do, then the government has to take it upon itself to step in and make decisions for all of us.

Yeah.  Right.

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Her Head is Going to Spin Around!!

As seen this week on TheNextFamily.com (1/12/12):

Do you ever feel, as a parent, that everything you do is wrong?  I mean, I’ve had these moments over and over during the course of the past 20+ years (oh my God I’ve been a parent for over twenty years!), but I don’t remember feeling it quite the way I am this go-around.

When Harrison was first born, we bragged that she was the perfect baby – eating, burping, sleeping, pooping all when she was supposed to, or so we thought.  After about two or three weeks, however, her sleeping became erratic.  Her eating became episodes of vomiting that just seemed to get worse and worse.  Her pooping became less and less, and at times, non-existent.  I had been so confident that it would all come back to me, no problem.  I was cocky enough to believe that I was “older and wiser” and whatever this baby threw at me, “I got this.”  HA!  She currently has my arm twisted behind my back, and I am quickly being brought to my knees, about to cry “Uncle!”

As her eating/spitting-up issue has gotten worse, I still maintained my history that walked me through this not once, but twice.  Both boys had reflux, accompanied by projectile vomiting.  I remember, all those years ago, that friends and family alike called Nicholas “the vomit king”, affectionately, of course.  When Noah came along many years later, I was well prepared when he followed in his brother’s footsteps as heir to the vomit king’s throne – only his was worse.  Back then, pediatricians didn’t put them on medications, but rather referred us out to pediatric GI doctors at the children’s hospital; those doctors, in turn, would run tests, perform upper GI series (which was an awful ordeal in and of itself), and threaten surgery for conditions that continued to get worse.  I tried everything with the boys, thinking that the next thing would help somehow and give these sweet babies a tiny bit of relief.  Nicholas ultimately went on fresh goat’s milk around ten months old, and I had to drive an hour to a farm to buy it.  Noah nursed almost exclusively, but because he was a preemie, had to supplement with formula – and we tried so many different ones.  He ended up going on cow’s milk at around ten months old (to supplement breast milk), and his condition got remarkably better as well.  It was so bizarre that both boys were preemies, both were born five weeks early, and both had terrible reflux conditions.

So now here I am, all these years later, with a new baby girl that seemingly has the same awful condition that her older brothers had.  We are trying everything and nothing seems to be bringing relief to her.  It feels like everything we are doing isn’t working or is just plain wrong.  She is on her sixth – yes, SIXTH – formula, and vomiting just as much as ever.  She tried Zantac, but threw it up.  She is on Prevacid, and we have to time her meds not near eating time, or it will get spit up as well.
We bought her a special thing to lay in – The Nap Nanny – in hopes that it will put her in a position that will alleviate the heartburn and allow her to nap without spitting up so much and waking herself up.  I feel like everything I do is wrong, and I don’t remember ever feeling like this before.  It is a horrible, helpless feeling to hold a screaming baby, knowing she is in pain and being powerless to make it better.  She had gotten to the point where she was spitting up blood, so back to the doctor we went, where we were switched to our current formula and medication regimen.  We’re tired mommies, and we know that she is just exhausted every day from constant bouts of heartburn.

The other day, after she had been screaming for a particularly long time, I had to put her in her swing and sit down, head in my hands.  I sat and cried, talking out loud to both Harrison and God, asking what I could do to make her feel better.  It wasn’t a good afternoon.  For the first time since she was born, I felt totally and completely inept and over my head.  Just when we think that we’ve tried everything, we somehow come up with something else to try, waiting to see if it will be the magic trick that will ease her pain and bring us back to some sense of normalcy.  Right now, our days and nights are managed by a tiny, eleven-pound baby girl who needs us every moment that she is awake.  I get frustrated and irritable because the house is a wreck or because the laundry never gets caught up, but I have to stop and remind myself that she is tiny and defenseless, and that this is not a permanent condition.  I’m trying to enjoy the snuggling that at times, for a few quiet moments, makes her feel better and brings her some rest.  I know that there will come a day when I will want to hug on her and she will not be interested any longer.  I will want to hold her hand and she will pull away.  So for now, I will hold her when she needs holding and rock her to sleep so she won’t cry.  I may be flubbing up everything else, but I will be able to one day tell her that I did the best mommying that I could when she was new.

Nighttime Musings from the Nursery Rocker

Tonight I am sad.

It’s after midnight, the baby and the boy are asleep.  The wife is asleep.  I should be asleep.  But my mind won’t shut down, thinking about some of the awful things going on today in our country.

Earlier, around 10 PM, I went into the nursery for my nightly position in the rocker with the baby.  Erikka brought me a cup of coffee, and I settled in, rocking our sweet baby girl and reading status updates from Facebook on my phone.  Now, I am sad because of the news today that the Dublin Dr. Pepper plant is shutting down and no longer making the beverage of the gods, but I digress.  This is not the sadness that is currently keeping me from slumber.  What really got to me was another day of political news stories from the current stream of Republican candidate hopefuls for this year’s presidential election.  Almost all of the prospects are a frightening thought for families like mine, and the rights and privileges that we fight so hard to secure for ourselves.

Our current governor, Rick Perry (R), is sadly continuing his campaigning, even after coming in miserably low in recent state primaries.  I suppose that his crowning achievement in his campaign would be his “Strong” political ad video, where he spoke his obvious disdain for gays/lesbians now being allowed to serve in the military, and declared that our current president has waged a war on religion.  I had no idea!  The thought of this man becoming even mildly close to the White House, even as a visitor, makes me nauseous.  The only downside to him not getting the candidacy is the fact that he will come back to Texas and continue his horribly long reign as governor here.

Then there is Mitt Romney, the front runner and former governor of Massachusetts, is probably the least conservative of the bunch.  At first I thought that he might be alright, as he made a comment once (early on) that he didn’t have a problem with same-sex marriage; he has since said that he thinks that it should go back to the individual states.  He has also said that he would prohibit future marriages – and of course there will be no federal recognition – but that each state could recognize those marriages that have already taken place.  Holy shit, really?  Did nobody learn ANYTHING from Prop 8 in California?  Really – going back to class grades basically, a version of separate-but-equal??  What year is this?

There is also a real piece of work, Rick Santorum.  He is a former senator from Pennsylvania, and he is a douchebag.  Some of the things that have come out of his mouth have left me sitting there thinking, “No way.  Did he REALLY just say that?”  He is vehemently opposed to abortion for any reason (as is Rick Perry), even though his own wife has had an abortion because her health was at risk.  HYP-O-CRITE.  He wants the United States to be a Christian nation – HIS definition of Christian – and has no regard for any other religions or beliefs.  Oh, and Santorum’s wife, who asks “the holy spirit to speak through her husband,” was shacked up with an abortion doctor before leaving him to be with brother Rick.  Nice, huh?  And of course, he hates the gays.  He says that if HE were president, he would not only outlaw same sex marriage, but he would invalidate all of those marriages that have already taken place – like MINE.  Them are fighting words Mr. Santorum.  IF that were to happen, which I don’t believe that our country is stupid enough to allow to happen, then he would have a hell of a lot of homos at the White House doorstep waving not only rainbow flags and signs, but lots of legal marriage licenses.  I don’t think it would be pretty.  I mean, really Rick – you seriously want to take the country backwards, don’t you?  This is not progress.  He also has said that it is better for a kid to have a dad in prison than to have two dads or two moms.  Every time he utters another stupid remark, he resembles Hitler more and more to me.

There’s also Ron Paul, a U.S. State Rep from Texas, who seems like a little weasel to look at him.  I don’t know much about his positions, because I don’t pay that much attention to him.  I have had a couple of people tell me that I should vote for him, to which I just keep my mouth shut.  Really?  Anybody who would tell me to vote for any of these bigoted morons, who are hell-bent on taking away my rights and those of MY family, is somebody who really doesn’t have a clue.

And there is Newt Gingrich.  Former Speaker of the House, this asshat is VERY anti-gay anything, despite having a sister who is a married lesbian and director at the Human Rights Campaign (big gay rights organization, FYI).  He didn’t attend his sister’s wedding, but he sent a gift – kind of contradicting your own stance there, Newton.  Fortunately, his sister Candace has said that she will endorse President Obama in the upcoming 2012 election.  HA!  That’s awesome!  And not to mention (although I AM going to mention it), he-who-is-so-anti-gay-marriage has been married (and divorced) multiple times.  But it’s okay, because he was married and unfaithful to someone of the OPPOSITE sex.  This moron is racist, making cracks about African-Americans and food stamps.  He has suggested having poor students in public schools doing the janitorial work and cut those jobs.  He has also stated that a kid would be better off as an orphan than have two mommies.  Yes.

And this is why I am sad.

As I sat in our beautiful nursery, rocking our baby who was created with such thought and love, I scrolled through news articles and saw where Newt Gingrich had made that statement.  A child would be better off as an orphan than to have two mommies.  It actually made me cry.  The thought of my sweet baby girl, alone and without us or anyone else to care for her broke my heart.  No child is better off as an orphan…EVER.  The thought of any of these horrible men becoming remotely close to a position of leadership in this country is scary for folks like me, like us.  Then there is also the ignorant pope, half a world away, making statements this week that gay marriage is a “threat to the future of humanity.”  Oh dear God.  A lot of people don’t have the worries and fears that we do, because they can go and get married and/or divorced as many times as they want to without question or consequence.  The gay/lesbian community have to fight, march, and protest for these rights, so it’s scary to think that someone might take over as leadership and take them away because of their own personal agendas and prejudices.  I know that I have family, and probably several friends on Facebook (and in real life), who will vote Republican ticket.  I just hope that they will really look closely at their candidate’s positions on all of the issues before making the decision to cast their vote.  I know that many folks just vote, straight ticket, solely on the fact that there is a (D) or (R) behind their name.   I hope and pray that the American people will choose very wisely this election season – every vote and every choice will matter.

And I’m still pretty sad over the whole Dr. Pepper thing, too.

Change is Growth; Growth is Good – Reflections of 2011

So 2011 is rapidly coming to a close, and it always brings me to a place of reflection on all that has taken place in my life over the course of a year.  Sure, this past year has brought us the death of Osama bin Laden, the murder trial of Michael Jackson’s doctor, and Charlie Sheen doing a lot of “winning.”  But 2011 also brought a lot of huge changes for me and my family.

We started out this year with plans for Erikka to have surgery in mid-January.  Little did we know that a short month later we would be making our first attempt at insemination and pregnancy.  It was a long five weeks before we would find out that our one, and only, attempt was positive and that a new little life was on its way.  Noah turned eleven and won the spelling bee for his elementary school for the second year in a row.  I couldn’t believe that he would soon be going into middle school, and Nicholas would be turning 20 in August, and that we would have a newborn baby not too long after that.  I was going to have three only children, practically….wow.  We also had been planning for a trip to Disneyworld, just Erikka and I, in May so that we could use some airline vouchers and Disney dollars that were about to expire.  I wondered how that would work once we found out that Erikka was pregnant, but she did great and we had a wonderful time getting away – knowing it was probably one of our last getaway trips for a long time.  We managed to getaway one more time in July for our anniversary, where we went to our favorite bed & breakfast in Little Rock for a weekend, promising when we left to come back with the kids next time.

I think that by June, it had been discovered that Erikka had developed gestational diabetes, so we went on a drastic diet change to accommodate all of the many doctors and their demands of her.  The days got hotter and her belly got bigger, and we shopped and planned and dreamed about this baby that we still couldn’t believe was going to be here by the first of November.  Once we found out that we were having a girl, the excitement got even more strong because Erikka had always wanted a girl, and I had only experienced life with two boys.  I turned 41 in August, and started to panic about having a new baby – I felt OLD.  We soon got into high gear and launched into a season of baby showers, nursery painting parties, and furniture-putting-together gatherings.  The room that had, for the year that we have lived here, been the middle, guest bedroom was slowly turning into a beautiful Dr. Seuss nursery for the little baby girl who would have everything.

By the time that October arrived, we were battling with blood pressure issues along with blood sugar issues.  Doctors were on the case and we were going every week to one doctor or another.  Erikka was registered at the hospital, and her c-section was set for November 1st…only this baby and Erikka’s body had other plans.  She was put into the hospital on fulltime bedrest around the 18th of October, and late on the evening of October 24th we welcomed our beautiful baby girl – Harrison Sinclair Jayne-Anne – into the world (during the 5th game of the World Series where our Rangers were playing!).  The world as we knew it previously was changed forever.  We had some complications for the first few weeks, with Erikka and her body getting used to all of the drastic changes, but then by Thanksgiving were sharing our new addition with the world.  Nicholas enlisted in the Navy shortly after Harrison was born, and married the love of HIS life on October 31st.  It took all of us by surprise, but because we love him (and her, too), then we support them as best as we can.  I anxiously awaited for Christmas and spending time with family – both Erikka’s and mine.

And now here we are, looking at the tail-end of 2011 over our back shoulder; looking forward to 2012 and all of the adventures and experiences it will bring to us and our family.  I pray that 2012 will bring to us new legislation that will write equality into existence where it was not before.  Every year should bring change, for without change there is no growth.  It may be small change over a long period of time, or it may be big, life-altering change that happens in a blink.  Either way, change is growth, and growth is good.