Monthly Archives: June 2011

Newlyweds take D.C.!

This week’s installment of my blog on TheNextFamily.com is up – and follows the D.C. segment of our honeymoon.  Feel free to stop on by, check it out, and leave some love if you are so inclined…and thanks for reading!

http://thenextfamily.com/2011/06/lesbian-newlyweds/

 

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Two Women Can Screw Up a Kid Just Fine, Thank You

Friend to her husband on Facebook:  “Thought I’d change my profile photo to say Happy Father’s Day to my husband. It’s been fun screwin’ up these kids with you!”  ~ Kristen Corsacadden

I got such a kick out of this when I saw it online, that I just HAD to share.

Father’s Day is always odd to me, seeing as how it has been years since I have had contact with my own father.  I mean, there is always a “dad” around, since I have two boys and I always want to make sure that they honor their dad every day – so the holiday is not completely lost on me.  But now, for the past two or three Father’s Days, I have had the privilege of having a very kickass father-in-law in my life; one who stepped in and became “dad” to me almost instantly.  It has been nice to be able to, once again, shop for those sappy Father’s Day cards that have eluded me for a very, very long time.

I guess I should give a brief history, so that no one thinks that I once had a dad but then he died or something.  Let’s make no mistake – I DID once have a dad, and he lives across town from me, alive and well as far as I know.  He left when I was about 11 years old; my brother nor I ever went for a weekend visitation – not one.  I would venture to say that even my oldest and dearest friends probably have no recollection of my dad either.  I tried, on and off over the years, to have a father/daughter relationship, but it never seemed to work and always felt one-sided to me.  I had said some pretty immature and unkind things as a teenager, and he in turn talked to me less and less.  When I got older and had kids – his grandsons – there was still very little effort made towards ME.  When I was about 35, I reached a point that I knew I couldn’t continue to be the only one making an effort towards a relationship with my father, so I decided to stop trying.  I wasn’t mad, there had been no incident or drama or fight.  I just was tired.  So I stopped making any effort whatsoever, thinking that he would surely pick up where I left off, take the initiative and make an effort.  I have now been waiting about six years for that to occur, and I’m guessing that at this point it probably isn’t going to happen.  It doesn’t make me angry or bitter, and it doesn’t make me as sad as it used to; now I just don’t have very much feeling about the whole thing actually.  It mostly makes me sad for my boys, not knowing their grandfather.  Until my father-in-law came along, it really bothered me for them, since their dad’s dad had died long ago.  But now, not only do I have a stand-in dad, but the boys have a grandfather again – and he’s a cool one that they love!

Back to now.  Now we are expecting our own little girl – yeah, we just found out last week that it’s a little girl, and are thrilled beyond belief!  People have said, and I’m sure plenty of others have thought it, that our kid will be at a disadvantage by not having a “dad” to grow up around.  I have thought about this, mulled over it, and finally come to a conclusion like my funny friend Kristen above:  Us two woman can screw up a kid just fine on our own, thank you very much!  I mean, come, let’s think about this.  Millions and millions of us grew up with parents who divorced, some of us when we were pretty young, and know that pain and dysfunction that can occur with that whole mess.  Some of us grew up with brothers, both older or younger, who felt the freedom to beat up on us however and whenever they felt like it.  See?  Tons of us HAD dads in our lives, even if it was only part-time; tons of us HAD male influences in our lives, and they were able to, in some form or another, screw with us just fine.

So let’s see.  Two women raising a child together.  Two women who love each other so very deeply, and want this baby more than anything else in the world.  Two women who fight for equality for all people, especially for same-sex marriage to be recognized in all states, and for all people.  Two women who are legally married in a few states, but unable to divorce or be recognized in their own state – which, by the way, makes their marriage more secure than all of their heterosexual counterparts.  Just saying.  Does our child need male influence in their life?  I’m sure that she will.  Will she be lacking for nurturing, for love, for male perspective?  Not at all.  Our daughter will have a very involved grandpa in her life.  Our daughter will have two older brothers who think it’s pretty cool that they will finally have a baby sister.  Our daughter will have a slew of “uncles” and “aunties” – of which will be MEN…LOL.  Even the drag queens, her “aunties”, can’t wait to meet her!

All in all, I think that our little family unit will be fine and well-rounded.  As long as our daughter learns that our family is about love and acceptance, as well as extending that love and acceptance to others, then we will have done our job as her parents.  She will see and experience holidays like Father’s Day, to honor her grandpa and the other men in her life.  And when those times arise that she wants to go to a Daddy/Daughter dance, I have no doubt in my mind that there will be someone there to take her and stand-in, just like my father-in-law stands in for me.

Holy Crap!! I’m Getting MARRIED Tomorrow!!

Yes folks, it’s that time again!  My weekly blog is up on TheNextFamily.com, and the story continues!  I’m finally up to the part of our story where we are on the wedding trip, and it is the day before the actual wedding.  Check it out and leave some love….if you are so inclinded 😉

http://thenextfamily.com/2011/06/the-girls-are-getting-married/

 

And the story continues!

I haven’t been here for a few weeks – my life, like my hair, has become crazy and unmanageable…LOL.  Not really.  My life has just become crazy busy, the closer it gets to school being out for the summer.  Not to mention the fact that I am doing WAY too many jobs and wishing for WAY more pay to go along with them!  My weekly blog on TheNextFamily.com has been updated several times since I was last here, so let me leave some links to catch you all up:

I Chose Her – http://thenextfamily.com/2011/05/erikkas-husband-disappeared/

Our First Date (totally mistitled; about when we got engaged, not our first date) – http://thenextfamily.com/2011/05/two-moms-and-their-first-date/

Engagement & Wedding Plans – http://thenextfamily.com/2011/05/planning-a-lesbian-wedding/

Our Trip is Finally Upon Us! – http://thenextfamily.com/2011/06/lesbians-on-their-wedding-day/

There!  Now you’re caught up (if you read the last 4 blogs…lol).  Check them out and leave some love!